epiphany

I know that any of this doesn’t matter. The hungry boy is still starving. He’s still starving and my formatting in size 12 Times New Roman will not make any difference. But if I was responsible for him, I would wish I was here, where life was about double line spacing and footnoting in Harvard bluebook style. And without my efforts here, I cannot help him anyway. I might just BECOME him. I know that any of this doesn’t matter but I must still do it, because the alternative is not an alternative. I must do it while realizing that it doesn’t matter and do it anyway, because in the end, it does matter. Just don’t get obsessed. Its all maya, if this is maya, then the little boy is also maya. And if he is real, then This is real too. There is heartbreak and agony here too, just because it isn’t so stark or so impoverished doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. The ‘lipstick and powder classes’ may be obsessed to a point of foolishness, but I am not one of them. This is the way out for me. but it is also the way in. Do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do.